Standing Still With You
by Nille815
Summary: They were on the brink of something. All of them. Something was going to change, she could feel it in her bones. And it made her think that now was not the time to be tentative. J/K s2.


**A/N:** I was in need of a distraction from a uni-project and this happened ;) Set somewhere right before the season 2 finale - Enjoy! Oh and as always feedback is greatly appreciated.  
**Disclaimer:** Sadly I still don't own a thing.

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_Standing Still With You_

There was a sense of urgency in the air that night. It hung like a dark cloud over the beach. She could feel it in the hushed, whispers around her and in the erratic movements of her fellow survivors. Like a storm was hiding just beyond the horizon, waiting to unleash a nightmare on them all. Michael had been found. Ana Lucia and Libby had been murdered and buried. A boat on the horizon had contained someone she thought they had seen the last of. People were scared and confused, more than ever before perhaps and there were no answers to be found. No soothing speeches or confident looks of reassurance.

A sigh escaped from somewhere deep inside Kate as she scanned the dark beach. She scooted a little closer to the fire, closer to the light and warmth, focusing her eyes on the dancing flames. All around her, people were alert and awake despite the late hour, but all the activity didn't bring her comfort as it had before on dark nights. Tonight it only made her more apprehensive.

She buried her jittery hands in the cool sand, mindlessly drawing circles with her fingertips as she moved her eyes from the fire and looked at the sky above her. It was a clear night, the stars twinkling white and undisturbed down at her. Down at them all. According to them, no storm was brewing in the distance.

A distinct movement to her right, distracted her from the stars and she lowered her eyes to follow him moving across the beach. Jack was walking slowly but with a determined step along Sayid. His fluent walk was distracting to her somehow. They were deep in conversation, their concentration only broken when they passed Hurley sitting by himself a little away from the rest of the camp.

Sayid hesitated a moment before exchanging a nod with Jack and moved away from them. Jack remained standing by Hurley and Kate could tell by the furrow of his brow that he wasn't sure what exactly to do. Hurley barely acknowledged him as Jack squatted in front of him, putting a hand on his shoulder. To comfort and listen. But he didn't say a word. She felt another stab of sadness for Hurley. It had been obvious to everyone that he and Libby were becoming close. It was so unfair that he should lose her now. And it was difficult to watch the usually happy and easy going Hurley, the most deserving of some happiness, in pain. It was so foreign to see his face bereft of a smile. It scared her... It was just another thing that added to the sad and wary ambiance that reigned over the beach.

The fire crackled and popped in front of her, stealing her attention and Kate noticed that the beach was finally starting to go quiet. People were finally turning in, exhausted by their worry. But Kate was certain there would be no sleep for her that night. The uncertainty of tomorrow and what was going to be done would keep her awake. Her thoughts were turning in her head a mile a minute, things just didn't add up. What she'd found in the medical hatch didn't match with Michael's story. Something wasn't right and she knew she wasn't the only one who thought so.

Again she sought out Jack. He was still sitting by Hurley, but the look in his eyes told her he was miles away.

She wasn't surprised by the need to go sit by him that washed over her. They used to lean on each other in a situation like this, taking strength from each others presence and the knowledge that they had each others backs. She missed the rare moments where they would just sit together in silence by the fire. From day one, Kate had found comfort by just being in his presence and tonight she needed his close proximity. She needed to hear him say that everything would be okay. She needed his reassuring smile, but they weren't quite back to normal yet.

They had formed a truce somehow over the last couple of days, taking tentative steps to reform their friendship. Trust was so important, something so rare for Kate that it had hurt like nothing ever had before when it had disappeared from his eyes when he looked at her. But over the last couple of days, he'd looked at her like he used to. She could see the trust forming slowly in his eyes and it warmed her from the inside out. They had gotten some things out in the open and it seemed like they had come to an understanding of some sort. Forgive and forget.

But... They had also been caught in a net. Repressed feelings had flooded her system as she was pressed against him. His hot breath against her face and his warm body underneath hers. They had joked and laughed together for the first time in weeks. And she had been bold enough, desperate enough to get them back to normal that she had told him what she though he wanted to hear. But he had surprised her.

"_I'm not."_

His voice echoed in her head and for the first time since he'd uttered them, Kate allowed herself to feel it. He wasn't sorry that she had kissed him and if Michael hadn't stumbled out of the jungle... She wouldn't have hesitated in leaning close and kissing him again. She was tired of running away from him when all she really wanted was to stand still. Stand still and be with him. For so long she had found herself unworthy of him, afraid to trust him, afraid to let him in. She had fought it tooth and nail, but he had found a way inside anyway... And she wasn't afraid anymore. He was as damaged as her. He wasn't perfect.

She closed her eyes and imagined the look in his when he'd confessed he wasn't sorry. It was stupid that she hadn't seen it before, because it had been there from the start. He saw her for who she was and not who she had been. He saw that she was trying so hard to be a better person. He challenged her in ways she had never been before. He didn't hold her past against her, but he didn't let her hide behind it either. And he had wanted that kiss as much as she had.

They were on the brink of something. All of them. Something was going to change, she could feel it in her bones. And it made her think that now was not the time to be tentative.

He felt her watching him and their eyes met above the flames of the fire still roaring in front of her. Something clicked into place the and he managed a smile for her, but it faltered somewhat, almost as if he could feel the intensity of her thoughts. She didn't want to lose him and she didn't want to face the unknown of tomorrow without him knowing what was in her heart. She had nothing left to lose, only him.

Hurley murmured something beside him and Jack broke away from her gaze. A slight smile appeared on his face again as he focused his attention on Hurley, obviously pleased that their friend was talking again. Kate averted her eyes, giving them some privacy.

A few minutes passed before she looked their way again. Charlie had left Claire's side for the first time all day and was now sitting down next to Hurley, seemingly replacing Jack. They exchanged a few words and Jack squeezed Hurley's shoulder slightly before standing. He turned to walk away, but before he did he found her eyes again and gave her a slight nod. She could almost her him saying goodnight. She smiled for the first time all day at him in return and watched him walk towards his own tent with heavy, weary steps.

Kate hesitated only a second before abandoning her fire and rising to follow him. Her heart thundered in her chest as she crossed the now quiet beach, making a straight line towards his shelter, not caring if anyone saw her.

His words resonated inside her again_ "I'm not." _And it fueled her step.

She came to stand in front of his tent and delicately reached out to pull the tarp aside so she could enter.

"Hey." She greeted him in a voice just above a whisper, before letting the tarp fall behind her, closing them off to the rest of the world. It was dark inside his tent, the small place only illuminated slightly by the campfires on the beach.

He was sitting on his makeshift bed and by the way his head turned with a start at the sound of her voice, she could tell she had surprised him.

"Hi." Jack returned, his brow furrowed in confusion, but not unwelcome. He was in the midst of shrugging out of his shoes and he continued to do so after a moment of tense silence.

She wondered for just a tiny moment if following him had been a mistake, but then he shifted slightly, making room for her to sit next to him and an inaudible sigh of relief escaped her. He looked at her expectantly with his brows raised and she slowly moved to sit next to him.

He continued watching her as she settled beside him, brushing her leg accidentally against his. Enjoying the zing that went through her at his touch. He averted his gaze and she allowed herself to feel his close proximity wash over her. For the past two days there was nothing she had wanted more than to just be alone with him again. Already her pounding heart was slowing it's pace and she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before looking at him.

He turned his head as well, oblivious to the feelings racing inside her and looked at her questioningly. "You okay?" He asked her, his confusion at her coming to his tent turning into concern.

"I don't know..." she admitted, a lump suddenly forming in her throat. They day had started out so hopeful with finding Michael again, and the two of them getting back on the right track. How had it ended with the death of two friends?

Jack nodded as a way of replying and she read that he felt the same way in his eyes. Silence enveloped them and despite the horrible situation and everything Kate relished this moment of complete normalcy. This was what she had missed. Simply sitting next to him, sharing everything without having to say a word. She remembered why she had come here in the first place, but she had no idea of how to even begin explaining how she felt.

"Jack?" She whispered after a moment, breaking the silence, "Are we gonna be okay?"

He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. He raked a hand over his scalp and took his lower lip between his teeth, clearly searching for the right words to tell her.

"Yeah," He answered her after a moment, "I think so... We're gonna figure this out and find a way to help Michael. Everything's going to be fine."

She could tell he was being sincere, he still had hope and it comforted her. He gave her his most reassuring smile and she took strength from it to continue.

"And what about you and me?" She dared to ask after a moment and she felt more than saw him tense.

Her heart started thundering again as the words seemed to echo around her and his smile faltered, but he kept his eyes locked on hers. Instantly they were back in that moment in the jungle, just waiting for the other to move. She tried her best to convey with her eyes, everything she couldn't with her words. _I'm here and I'm not running anywhere. _The same vulnerability from the that night flickered in his eyes, and she was sure it was mirrored in her own as well. But then something shifted in the air between them and almost in synch they leaned closer to each other, both deciding to breach the distance.

Jack hesitated inches from her face, searching her eyes as if he was anticipating her to back away. To change her mind. To run.

But Kate held firm, the desire and want to hold on to this moment greater than her urge to run. So she shut her eyes and closed the distance between them, brushing her mouth briefly against his in the barest of touches. He responded by closing his lips firmly, but tentatively over hers. She molded her mouth against his, sinking into him as his hands cupped her face. She parted her lips for him and he deepened the kiss in response, finally giving in to the magnetic pull between them. His kiss was soft and familiar in a way that made her stomach flutter and her heart beat even louder than it did before.

His hands tunneled through her hair and she finally raised her own to wrap around his neck and pull him closer. Her fingers stroked through his hair, enjoying the soft feel of it tickling against her fingertips. They broke apart for a second, their breathing labored. His eyes darkened intensely as he looked at her and she didn't hesitate to capture his lips again, passionately pouring everything she had to give into it. Jack met her kiss for kiss, matching her passion and longing and it thrilled her like no rush ever had before. Clinging to him, she felt freer than she ever had and the way he murmured her name against her lips when they parted for air was tinged with absolution.

They remained close, breathing together as they recovered. Her forehead rested against his as her arms slid from his neck down to his chest, imitating her movements from the first time they had kissed. But this time she had been prepared for the feelings rushing through her and she had no intention of moving. His hands were spread wide against her back, his warmth seeping through her shirt and a shiver ran up her spine as he released his hold on her, leaning back slightly.

She opened her eyes to find him watching her warily as if he was still expecting her to take off. Her lips curved upward in a timid smile and she was pleased when he gave her one in return, accepting and trusting that she wasn't going anywhere.

"I think we'll be okay." He murmured as the smile on his face widened, answering her question.

A laugh bubbled past her lips and she kissed him again. Enjoying the freedom of finally being able to. So much more needed to be said, but for now they were both content with just enjoying the silence.


End file.
